During the school year of 2023/2024, we decided to shift Forge into an all-boys school. At the time, we were unsure of how this move would be received by others, but knew that it would be the best thing for our students and our school vision moving forward. Having taught and lived in this new culture for a number of months now, a few reflections have been on my mind.
First, as I look around our world these days, there seem to be fewer and fewer spaces that cater specifically to men and boys. While our culture has been rapidly adapting to new paradigms of fairness and inclusivity, it has been expanding the amount of spaces that are available and safe for people of many different identities. This is certainly a good thing. However, it seems that the availability of male-centric spaces has been dwindling, and the few that remain have become increasingly hostile and grievance-driven. We at Forge believe that it is vitally important to create spaces in which young men can learn to be healthy, positive members of their community, and that this does not have to happen at the expense of supporting any other group or identity. In fact, we believe that supporting others in our community is a hallmark of being a remarkable man.
Second, it seems that the students and learners that I work with have gained new access to a considerable part of their brain and attention spans since we have made the change to an all-boys model. It seems that taking out the peacocking, showing-off, and competition over the attention of others has allowed us to focus on the work that we are here to do, which is learning and supporting one another. The result has been a powerful cohesion of comradery between our learners as well as our guides.
Lastly, the importance of defining “masculinity” in our modern age has been salient in my thoughts. Like stated above, many young men who seek out guidance from the world on how to “be a man” are bombarded with cartoonish versions of what masculinity looks like. The influencers online often provide our young men with toxic, misogynistic, and intolerant views of the world. We can criticize these ideas all we want to, but until we provide our boys and young men with alternative narratives and counterexamples to this form of masculinity, then they will continue to seek out guidance where they can get it. Which currently is from internet chatrooms and social media algorithms.
The work in front of us at Forge includes having these conversations with our students, and providing them with more positive and productive versions of “manhood” that they can strive to embody. It includes role modeling what dealing with conflict looks like, and what being humble in the face of adversity can look like. It involves sharing the stories from others, and figuring out ways to help and support those in our communities that need it.
Like I said above, none of this comes at the expense of continuing to expand the opportunities of others. Supporting people is not a zero-sum game. The benefits that come to one group do not need to mean the detraction from others. I feel proud to be doing the work of shaping remarkable young men that will go on to become strong, supportive, and driven leaders in our communities of the future.
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